There will be pie at midnight.... no, seriously, that can't be right, Bruce.

First off, there is nobody I REALLY know named Bruce. However, whenever I hear the name Bruce I can only think of a guy my Dad used to work with. It's strange that of all the people named Bruce in the world (and let me assure you, there are multitudes of Bruces out there...) that this guy would be the one that I associate the combination of five letters with.

Okay. But, seriously, that wasn't my point.

The real idea was to articulate on several of my good plans. (look sort of impish when you read this, and get your pointy teeth out and rub your hands together a lot.)

1.) I have always had a fancy for the paradox of communication. We humans have such a love for speaking, yet we are always stepping on the toes of communication like awkward dancers. Sometimes, though, we're purposely malicious. Cutting toes off with crusty butter knife malicious.

Take for instance our practices of advertising. Commercials are noise and random lights flashing. They convey information that has no use to the viewer realistically, yet are still figured as "communication" in a sort of twisted sense.

So, in fairness, I've started to do the same. It is my new passion to take part in "communication" with fellow humans with only a few hitches. We say as much as possible and try to convey next to nothing. If nothing more than a method to crack smiles, this is a pretty darn good way to hit idiots in marketing with the blunt end of the language stick when they aren't looking.

I suggest you try it. It's reasonably entertaining, and who can resist a conversation about navels and washers. I can't.
(I also know that using a quote from AIM really isn't cool, but this is my best example....)

11:47:53 simonpiler: Let's transfer information through communication, okay??
11:48:04 bjhboarder: okay
11:48:30 bjhboarder: go
11:48:41 bjhboarder: heh
11:49:29 simonpiler: I have a navel that is not olive green and I live in a building that is approximately on the order of 1x10^2 feet tall.
11:50:44 bjhboarder: My fridge has approximately one half of one half of a gallon of apple cider in it. I also currently have Four washers and a bolt sitting on my desk.
11:52:29 simonpiler: I create a gas that weighs more than vaporous water when I breathe and when the sun shines really brightly I sneeze, expelling small particulate masses of saliva into the general atmosphere.
11:52:41 simonpiler: Seriously.
11:55:16 bjhboarder: Harvest grain Sunchips® are good, Textbook returns are bad. Don't mess with Ray Allen. He is playing the best basketball of his life this season.
11:55:55 simonpiler: I won't. I eat the matured flowers of trees and sometimes the condensed sap of trees, but I am generally regarded as strange when I take the ground, bleached, and re-pressed structural cells of these organisms and attempt to consume them.
11:57:17 bjhboarder: You can purchase your own gold edition, autographed Bernie Worrell Bobblehead from www.Bernieworrell.com, but you can't make me eat it.
11:58:01 simonpiler: I once was walking in the wintertime and the overall temperature of my general location indicated that there was not much kinetic energy in the air and when I breathed my little grotesque facial appendage/beard was coated in a layer of frost.


As you can see, Bundy and I are both actually saying things that make sense. It's not nonsensical.... more of just logistically inaccurate. There are other good ones, too. I won't go on, though, you get the picture.

2.) Sure... the next project is one that doesn't involve endives or pencil-erasers or anything with sec(x) in it. (Even though in my opinon sec x is just some mathematician's cruel subliminal messaging trick... you try writing it 50 times as an exponent without writing sex once. Seriously, you can't do it and do math at the same time.)

I've always liked the feeling of extracting something useful from more complicated and rough components. I've dug clay... ...yeah... and stuff like that. But I'd like to get some more organic syththesis going on by using steam distillation to produce and separate out the oil of juniper berries.

Why, you ask? The aroma is immesurably calming and very fragrant. It's unlike any other conifer I've ever wafted... fruity and "piney" at the same time. So, yup... that's project #2.

3.) MUSIC.
I've been crackin' at my solo guitar stuff for a while now and I'm beginning to really like what I'm getting... however, I would like to move into a larger competency with lead work and delay looping. I've done some exciting electronic magic with an effect called "automatic filter" - it works out very well, but there are still some tweaks to figure.

Okay, punch line: #3 was basically to let "the crowd" know about my demo CD that I'm putting out, "Twenty-one Musician". It's under my pseudo-pen-name, "Simon Piler" and is pretty damn good listening for $1. Realistically, I'll give it to you for free, but I'd like to at least be able to partially pay for the CD's I use to burn with. Just e-mail me or talk to me when I'm home or send me a letter, and I WILL get you the CD... I have the means, worry not.

That's all.


1, 2, 3....